So far I've dealt with some of the secular issues. For many gay couples, the thing they care about is not so much legal rights as social acceptance. My earlier post about homosexuality in general addresses this issue, as does this blog post that recommends some good things to keep in mind when engaging in dialogue about homosexuality, especially as a Christian.
The thing is, this isn't the kind of acceptance that most homosexuals seem to want. They don't want a dialogue or respectful conversation about where we differ -- they want affirmation of their identity as homosexuals. Again, I've already dealt a bit with my opinions about that. But the semantics of "marriage" come into play again when we switch from what's legal to what's ideologically and socially acceptable. In the general American public, homosexuality is becoming increasingly socially normalized. But as a Christian who holds the opinions I've described, homosexuality and "marriage" can't go together.
Very traditional opening words of a protestant marriage ceremony are:
Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in property and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. (cited here, forgive my sad source, this librarian is on vacation)One of the first things you notice about this ceremony is that it's decidedly not secular. This is marriage in the presence of God. It's a covenant established in the Biblical stories of creation and Jesus' life. It's holy. It represents Christ and the church. It's for joy, comfort, help, procreation, and family. It's not for tax definitions or health insurance, or even for social acceptance.
Forgive me if this seems harsh -- remember that I dearly love practicing homosexuals -- but there is no Biblical support for God's recognition of gay marriage. When the Bible speaks about homosexuality, it roundly condemns the practice. When the Bible speaks about marriage, it affirms that honorable, holy marriages are between a man and a woman. And it's not arbitrary! There are reasons that marriage is defined like it is in the Bible -- reasons literally as old as Adam. The very nature of the way our bodies are made speak to the rightness - the righteousness, if you will - of one man and one woman coming together in marriage. We were created with this in mind.
Again, please understand: I have great sympathy for those who believe they are homosexual by nature. It's not an easy thing, to have such crises of identity, to believe that you were created wrong, somehow, if this is the way God intended it. I don't have these answers, only the love of a God who wants to meet us in our deepest struggles, bind up our brokenness, fill our inner emptiness, and give us peace.
All of this is very faith-based. I believe it's completely true. And I also believe it's completely removed from the world of secular politics and government. Our country clings to the constitutional interpretation that completely separates church and state. Let it be separate, then. Don't let the government base its definitions on God's definitions, if the government is renouncing God. Let marriage be an institution of the church, one man and one woman. Let civil unions be an institution of the government, without gender restrictions.
Ideologically, I think that's the viewpoint most consistent with the laws of this country, and the constitutional right to freedom of religion. It's not that easy, though. The thing about government is that while it may not legislate religion, it exists to uphold justice. And justice is itself ideological. So the morality of things gets all mixed up with the legality of things. And there's no way to really untangle those ideas. More on this, next.
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