this moment

I've started to wake up one minute before my alarm. As someone who traditionally hates mornings, I'd prefer to stay asleep until the third or fourth snooze alarm rings. But the mornings are beginning to hold a certain charm for me, and I'm starting to enjoy them.

I like the quiet of the house. I like seeing the dawn break outside my window. I like padding across the house to fix a bowl of oatmeal and a hot cup of sweet nectar of the gods tea. My day goes better when I start with prayer and reflection, remembering who I am, whose I am, and what I'm living for. (Hint: The opinions of my supervisor have no part in this reflection.)

Today is the only day I have. The old ones are over, even if those choices and circumstances are still having an effect. I can prepare for tomorrow's problems, but I can't actually face them until tomorrow. Today is the only day I have to work with. In fact, this moment - right now - is the only time I can do anything at all.

It's very freeing. I'm no longer chained to the failures of the past or the expectations of the future. Right now, this very moment, I am forgiven. Right now, I am redeemed. In this moment, God has called me his own.

Likewise, focusing on this moment motivates me to make a difference. I don't have to resist temptation forever - just for this moment right now. (Totally do-able.) If I'm going to make progress, it's going to be by doing something with this moment. If all I can do is something small, that's okay - tiny moments of small things add up to big things eventually. (Discipline. It's still a scary word, but it's less scary if I remove the expectations and just focus on this moment.)

I like this perspective. It gives me hope. And with the sun rising outside my window, the clock telling me it's time to get ready for work, and a To Do list so long it takes a website to organize, hope is a nice way to start the day. Hope and a cup of tea.