ftw

The other day I realized I'm old. I kept seeing people writing FTW! and FTL! all over the place, and I had no idea what they meant. It was LOLspeak that I haven't mastered.

So I looked it up.

FTW = For the win! Like the perfect last-second shot in a basketball game, or a sneaky move in Clue that allows you to make the accusation right before everyone else figures it out.

FTL = For the lose! It's the opposite. The last-second shot that misses. The stupid move that costs the game.

It puts me in mind of another I-Can-Has-Chezburger type phrase that's popping up all over the internet -- and sometimes in conversation.

FAIL (or FAILURE)= The appropriate label for most Funniest Home Videos, the thing said (or thought) when someone forgets the punchline of their joke, and the adjective that terrifies us all.

Failure.

In the last 48 hours I've realized that I'm about to graduate. Again. In less than a week I will have fulfilled all the requirements of my Master's program, and this time there is no fixed plan to keep on with any kind of schooling. I'm certainly not planning on another degree any time soon.

What this means is that playtime is over and the 'real' world is knocking. I need to get a job, start paying off the loans, and re-orient myself to a life where I'm defined by things other than my major.

And the spectre over my shoulder is that elusive whisper: Failure.

I might not be able to get work, or have to work something menial in order to make ends meet. I might never get a call from any of the jobs I apply for. I might have to move home. I might not make any progress toward anything now that I don't have the clearly defined goal of a degree. I might really screw up the opportunities that come along.

It's terrifying.

But then I remember the gospel. And my God, and His love, and His grace.

I'm going to screw it up, in one way or another. It's pretty much a definite. But I have a God who is never disappointed in me, who's love for me is endless, and who is in the habit of turning mistakes into miracles.

Because of Jesus, the big red "failure" label I fear will never be able to stick to me.

Jesus died and then rose again. And he's showing me how, too.

FTW!